The Second Chance

Human salvation is a gift given by God. It is not something that can be bought by money, not human effort. My pastor often keeps saying we are saved by grace through faith.

There are two common perspectives of Christians seeing themselves, the one who feels righteous and the one who feels sinful. The one who feels righteous would think that they are okay, follow God's words, give charity, and help people. They do not kill people, do not rape people, do not steal; they are not drunkards, do not have a drug addiction, etc.

Meanwhile, those who feel sinful think there is no more God's mercy. What they have done was too evil; they are cursed, and later on, being ignorant about their salvation, they do not give a f*ck and want to pass day by day, doing their best.

We tend to see the past, regret things that we could not change, and not see any possibility if there is hope, there is a meaning in those painful journeys, and we still can hope to see the bright future ahead. I can write this because I experience it myself.

The Dark Side

I thought about suicide in my teenage and frequently asked myself why I needed to be born in this world? I could not see the future at all. I could only see the present moment and the past. I was away from God; I stopped visiting the church and thought there was no value in attending church. I believe God is everywhere and not limited to a tiny building called a church.

I am blessed to be a strong-minded teen and used my brain to do something beneficial in my future life: reading. Reading and books saved me; at least they distracted my complicated mind into something positive. However, my dark side stayed for years until I worked in Papua.

The Miracle

In Papua, God gave me a second chance. God showed me the experience of being loved completely, unconditionally. I found God's love through my students and the kids I met in Papua. God showed me how this ugly dark evil thought me transformed by God's love. This tiny little dust of me could be a blessing for simple things I shared through my job and voluntary actions in Papua.

This miracle moment, God's second chance, changed me to be a different person. I keep asking myself before doing something if this is something right? If this is something that God wants in my life? I put God into consideration before making decisions. It is totally different compared to the dark side previous me.

The journey is still going on. However, in my time of exile, I read and watched two stories of people from the Bible who also received the blessing of a second chance from God. They are Peter and Paul, the apostles.

Peter Denied Jesus

Jesus was caught in the Garden of Gethsemane by the Roman soldiers. Bible pointed out Peter, who was asked three times if he was one of Jesus's disciples. In this context, Jesus was a political figure under the death penalty, which meant that all who related to Jesus were in danger.

In Luke 22:54-62, Peter denied that he knew Jesus and cried once he realized he did wrong. The different response between Peter and Judas was their repentance. Judas regretted what he was doing and tried to return the ransom money to the pharisee, but the blood money was rejected. Judas could not see any other hope to "fix" what he had done and chose to kill himself.

Meanwhile, Peter expressed his regret by answering Jesus after his resurrection, he said Yes, when Jesus asked Peter to feed Jesus's lambs.

17 He saith unto him the third time, Simon, son of Jonas, lovest thou me? Peter was grieved because he said unto him the third time, Lovest thou me? And he said unto him, Lord, thou knowest all things; thou knowest that I love thee. Jesus saith unto him, Feed my sheep. (John 21:17).

It was the second chance opened for Peter, and he was devoted to beginning the ministry to spread the good news of human salvation through Jesus Christ.

The Road of Damascus

Paul was the 'bonus' apostle. I believe none of Jesus's disciples thought that the murderer of Christians one day became part of Jesus's followers, the die-through hard fans, and went martyrs for Jesus.

Paul or Saul was a Roman citizen, an educated and devout Jewish, and had an imminent philosopher as his teacher, Gamaliel. He did not believe in Jesus' resurrection and Jesus as a messiah. Therefore, Paul thought that the early churches were a cult and went after them to kill them.

He gave orders and approved the killing of Christians. One day on his way to Damascus, Paul (Saul) saw a bright light and a voice who asked, "Why are you persecuting me?"

That was Paul's second chance! Paul became a devoted Jesus apostle, traveled worldwide, and spent more than 30 years in the ministry of Jesus' teaching. He was the one who convinced Jesus' message to the rest of the early church that salvation was not limited to convert people to be Jewish but for everyone coming from different culture, country, and race.

16 Now the eleven disciples went to Galilee, to the mountain to which Jesus had directed them. 17 And when they saw him they worshiped him, but some doubted. 18 And Jesus came and said to them, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. 19 Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in[b] the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, 20 teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” (Matthew 28:16-20).

Paul wrote letters to the early churches in the Galatia, Ephesus, Philippi, Colosse, and Thessalonica. As a scholar, Paul understood Jewish law, experienced himself meeting with Jesus, traveled under death threat by the Jewish community at that time, and cared for the early church growth, which needed spiritual support in the persecution.

It wasn't easy to transport a letter or any written text about Jesus because the Christians were persecuted. Therefore, be thankful for the Bible that you read today. They would not be there for you to be read today if there is no God's grace.

The Gift

Paul, Peter, and many others in the Bible are an example that everyone who does wrong always has a second chance. You are loved completely and unconditionally by God. However, this beautiful moment when you realize it, is personal and revives your life; it's a gift.

I was born and raised in the Christian family, read the Bible, and spent my childhood in Sunday School. However, I did not experience how much Jesus love(s) me until I was in Papua when I was 30 years old. It is truly a gift. Saved by grace through faith. Just like what Paul potrayed in the Paul the Apostle movie, as seen on this YouTube.

I wish you also have that beautiful moment, and remember everyone always has their second, third, fourth, and infinite chances to part from the painful past, mistakes, and guilt. Jesus loves you unconditionally, completely. Love is the only way. God bless you.

Jakarta, 24 July 2022.

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