Friska Notes

Then I come to the conclusion again, the greatest barriers for your growth are: 

Having a dream is free, but to have that power to allow yourself to be able to dream and go for it, to pursue it, to give the best effort for that, it's coming from yourself. Nobody could replace you. It shall coming from you. Hundreds or thousands of people might said No. However, it's you who define yourself. Are you just like what these people said about you? Or are you the person you define who you are?

I just choose the second option. I define myself.

Last month, our book club reading Laskar Pelangi, or the Rainbow Troops, which is written by Andrea Hirata. I read Laskar Pelangi twice. The first was in Bahasa Indonesia, then I just finished the English version for my book club's. My first time reading this book when I was in college. I just enjoyed the story as a fiction based on real story, oh yeah. It was another adventure story about kids. However, in my second time reading this, I read this in a totally different perspective. I worked for 5 years in remote place, not the capital city of the province. Moreover, I met these bright beautiful children who had limited access for education not because of lacking in the facilities, but in their own mindset.

Lintang gave the Rainbow Troops courage to dream! Something that Ikal dan the other troops never dare to think that further. There are more possibilities for them out there, and they have people who believe in them: Ibu Mus, Pak Hafan, and Lintang!

Said thank you. It means that you are a very dear for that someone. If you heard his/her dream kinda like giving you to response by answering "Really??"; better you hold your tongue. 

For my brother's case, I felt sorry about him, because I was away not in Jakarta when the family made decision. They just decided and reported the result to me. Just like the old days hahaha (this sarcasm btw). However, I told my brother that the power to be able to dream, this is a blessing where not everyone has it. 

Not everyone encouraged enough to think that they are actually able to reach their dreams by effort and working hard on it. Not everyone brave enough to see themselves as helpless and they are not capable (yet) in way to reflect, and see what else I can do to make myself do better. 

My parents are not blessed by this traits. They are very simple and practical. Living a permanent life, doing good, working hard, life is good enough, and that's it. I told my brother we could not blame on our parents but that's how they are. 

Therefore, I asked my brother, what would you do and how is your plan? He told me that he would having the next's year university entrance test. I told him that he has the chance for a year preparing and working hard for that. I also shared my failures and the turning points which shaped me as the current me. Moreover, I told my brother, even for me, life is not ended as just like these days. I do not see myself graduated with a bachelor degree from library and information science as the end of me. I do also have my goals. It needs effort, and I am working on it.

Like what I believe, we shall be a role model to people we love. If I encouraged my brother to be a person who is brave to dream, then I should be a person who is willing to dream and surely make the efforts on it. I told my brother that he always has his brother and sisters, and me as the 'out of the box' sister to share his stories and worries with. I am glad to know at the end of our conversation he felt better, and we prayed. I told him, never feeling alone, because nowadays, God's answering people's prayers in various ways. God might be not talking to you directly but God's words could be delivered through other people.

Some people mentioned that 'luck' is the most important aspect in someone's success. Good for me, that I do not believe in luck. You might work hard, the effort was there, you might reach for your dream, or might be not. Not because you are not capable (after those all hardworking and labor), but we are limited in our perspective as human. God provides you with even better result. This 'secret' would be unfolded once then we would say, "Oh, that's why..." hahaha. But yes, it usually take a long time until we reach that reflective mode on.

I wish more children and people in the world have the same opportunity, to have that power to be able to dream. There is one quote that I really like,

The Fallen

Dear readers,

In the middle of the night, I am inspired to write a weird note about The Man! However, based on my experience, I never have a kind of type-man whom usually I am interested in. I could not set up a certain standard such as economic, education, or races background nor their physical appearance. Even though having a same faith/religion becomes a main factor in considering future spouse, you could not say, that every person who has same religion with you will perfectly fit to be the "One".

If you know my (previous) crush who might turn into love interest, you might surprise to know their background, even their appearance are various. However, I found several traits they have in common : they are gentleman, kind hearted, smart, patient, and have this "cool" attitude. The term I use here "cool" means they might active in social media but they do not overshared their private life.

So the more you posted things in the social media, shared this 'ridiculous' sissy things, I am so sorry, definitely I will lose interest. I know it might sound not fair for man. Maybe some of you would say, hey we are free to express ourselves. Expression is a normal way to have both for man and woman. However, in my opinion, real man should be The Man!

They might sick, or have one of the biggest storm in their life, but they remained calm. They are strong enough to face their problem and usually I am the one who is worried about them. Believe it or not, I am blessed with an ability or 'gift' to know when my friends are in trouble. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, this friend's name would just pop out into my mind. If this occurred, I have to make a phone call to check how he/she is doing. It always happened unexpectedly.

So what are the differences between The Man or Not The Man?

The Man is a gentleman, he knows how to treat a lady. He will not say harmful things from his words or do violence. He is smart and have noble character. He knows what he wants to do. He is a decision maker of his life. He is looking forward to life with good planning. He has vision. He fulfilled his promise. He is honest.

Not the Man, if : he is still playing around with someone's feeling. He could not make a decision. He tend to see women as dumb and not knowing anything. He is looking for attention through social media. He just living the life as it is. No further planning for his life. He has no vision. He forgets his promise. He lied.

Thank you Jesus, that I met several of "The Man" character through my life so that I am optimistic that good men are still exist. The Man character is not depend on his age but based on his life experience and reflection. What I love the most from The Man character is: he might struggle heavy issues in life but he still stand and rise, to overcome these problem with a faith that Jesus will help him passed through it.

It is a privilege for me to know this The Man character is not fiction but real. I am honored, and I really wish  God prepares my future spouse whose have The Man character.

Amen!


Batam, 4 March 2019

Today's Sunday Sermon

Today, I have Sunday Worship Service in Orchard Road Presbyterian Church and really enjoyed their choir who sing "Be not afraid". I do not record the choir but you could see a good youtube link here. Furthermore, this is the lyric :

Be Not Afraid 
based on Isaiah 43:1-4 Music by Craig Courtney

Be not afraid : For I have redeemed you;
Be not afraid: I have called you by name.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
When you pass through the floods
They will not sweep o'er you;
When you walk through fire,
You will not be consumed;
You are mine, you are precious in my sight.

My love for you is everlasting,
My love for your shall have no end.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
When you pass through the floods
They will not sweep o'er you;
When you walk through the fire,
You will not be consumed;
You are mine, you are precious in my sight.
You are precious in my sight.

The Reflection

Everyone of us passed many obstacles and currently could be facing problems of life. You could call some of these trouble as ordinary, or might put you into dillemma. Definitely we've been there, in the middle of road, where we have no idea which decision you have to choose or it might affect not only your life but also people who you loved.

As my reflection, I think my firm decision to move out from Papua always be a strong courage for me spiritually. It was difficult, really. I made up my mind that I have to make the RIGHT decision. No other way I could compromise with evil, and I have to leave Papua. A decision where I never regret until now, but I keep saying my gratitude for God who always prepare the best plan in my life. A plan where I have no idea at all in the beginning, but God knows the best. God who sent me to Batam, as a part of God's plan in the future for me.

Listening to the choir really touched my heart. The lyric remind me, even though we are sinful but Jesus' death in cross has redeemed us! We are children of God and precious, each of us. So that, what will we do with our life facing the obstacles of life? Be not afraid, keep the faith, made God-based-decision and direct your life into Jesus' path of life. Then, you will know how you could reach the current you now: because we are belong to God and we are precious in God's sight.

Jesus bless you.



Singapore, 24 February 2019

Hi, You Arrogant People

Took picture with my love in Kampung Abar, Jayapura

Dear my loyal readers,

I shared this hastag #hatitatinggaldiPapua innumerably in Facebook, you also may review the Hati tatinggal di Papua song VM here :D It means you left your heart in Papua. I don't know how and why, it just occured. I worked in Timika, Papua for 5 years and traveled to other cities around Papua : Wamena, Manokwari, Jayapura, and Merauke. It affected me that much so that I have to admit: I am falling in love with Papua!

My besties in Timika, the survivors till the end : Sis Esti & Uswa

There should be a remarkable existence about Papua so that I was metamorphosed! I was transfigured splendidly within my remaining time in Papua. I respected and valued life at the most, I was touched by modest thing in life, I felt I am loved, my life is meaningful, I am worthy, how noble these kindhearted people are. They were willing to share anything they had, be my family when I was away from my hometown (5 hours flight to Jakarta), where I encountered my passion, I discovered my home.

However, after 5 years determined for good cause in Timika, I had to pull out an accord. I moved out from my former working institution. I could not reveal the reasons here, based on ethical concern. Do not worry, I did my finest endeavour in working in Papua and made a very logical and firm decision about this. I tried my luck to propose another job in Jayapura but there was no phone call, not even for any interview session. My prayer always there, no day spent in Timika without prayer, I really wish I could reside and work in Papua. I sealed all my prayers with "Thy will be done."

Unchanging love :*

I see, it seemed abstract for some of you, but that's how I viewed life. We, could requested any substance and material which we assumed we desire it, or essential for our life. However, God's intention for each of us is more than that. Our purpose living in this Earth is so GRAND! You can never predicted or even imagine, God ALWAYS arrange something GREAT for each of us, as long you are doing positive things in life genuinely, be honest, and put a lot of effort in anything you work at. It looks like an utopia for some people, but that's what I believe for years.

When God answered my prayer that I have to relocate to Batam, what can I do but accepted it? I put my faith in God, God promote something GREAT for me, whatever it is. Even though until the day I am writing this post, I declare myself repeatedly, I couldn't make headway from Papua. I am FALLING in LOVE with Papua.

Hilarious point about love is, we can never predestine with what (or whom) we may fall in love. It's not me who choose want to fall in love with Papua. Never, I just got into curiosity in 2013. I visited and traveled 4 main islands in Indonesia : Sumatera, Kalimantan, Java (for sure), Sulawesi but not Papua (yet, at the moment). Moreover working as librarian and did voluntary actions in Papua education unquestionably forged me, and voila I identified my passion!

Books & Library Week 2017

First time arrived in Timika, I was brokenhearted. I had no confidence to trust anyone. I thought I was going to work as a librarian professionally, managed the library only. However, my principal asked me to do additional assignment, it was something never explained to me in the beginning. I have to manage a library session for every grade, including the parallel classroom, from kindergarten until junior high school (grade 9). I felt deceived, because I was not expecting this, and I had no experience to work in a school. My previous working institution was in the office special library and records management area.

I forced myself, I had to master this! I researched through the internet, and I was blessed to have a very good friend, Rabbi Ade who gave me a sample of library skill syllabus from USA. I learned, even lucky enough to had Kurikulum 2013 training which uncovered my creativity. There are a lot of improvements you can develop through library session, to increase students fondness in reading. That was how I developed my skills and passions in literacy.

Then, how about my broken heart?

Jelita, my inspirator in Kampung Abar, Jayapura

My brokenhearted curer is the children's genuine love. I treasured it! It is marvellous how children could love us! We are someone who they do not know (we are not their family or relatives), but they love us, unconditionally. Children's pure love surely heals the brokenhearted T.T

My five years in Papua is so momentous and deeply meaningful in my life which I can never forget T.T

Furthermore, I have to face the reality now. I moved to Batam since July 2018 and have not decided yet how long I am going to sojourn in Batam. What can I do in my limited capacity and power to fulfil what my heart always craving for? My love to Papua? Hopefully this is not the end, but it turns out to be a comma... and have a trust God strengthen me in order to pursuing God's GRAND design in my life.

Jesus loves you, Thy will be done :*


Batam, 25 September 2018, 00.10 (GMT +7)

Farewell dinner with dearest besties in Timika, Papua Province. So proud to have this opportunity, to know you and cherish our memory together. Love you folks! :* :* :*

I am a person who have a full of interest of life :

1. Reading
2. Healthy lifestyle, including sport and healthy food options
3. Social movement

Dear readers,

Once upon a time I met a human that used to be my friend at the university. At that moment, I didn't understand why people don't like her. What I knew about her : friendly, a good friend, honest, capable, and a person whom I can trust.

As time goes by, I know her better, she is a person who never keep her words. There are always reasons for everything. She does it with innocent face and I have to accept her reasons. One by one her promises are never fulfilled. I tried to understand that perhaps she is just a so so friend and not a good friend to trust anymore.

Until one time I know she is lying and covering her lies, said different things to other people. Finally her mask is covered and now I know why people don't like her : she is a liar, opportunist, hypocrite, and trying to use other people as her benefits. She is very sly and you will never find out she is a liar until you find the truth by accident.

Her smartness to lie and her ability to be friends easily with other people then using it for her benefits - that makes me wondering is she a Psychopat? I read several articles about Psychopathy in newspaper around 2008 and I remember several traits probably she had. One thing about Psychopath you need to remember : Too Good to Be True. And that's her! 100% that's her before you know who she really is.

The silver lining about this : 
Never expect too much from other people.
Human is human and they are not your friends.

Here is a link if you want to check your tendency to psychopathy : http://psychcentral.com/quizzes/psychopathy.htm


Jakarta, 3 Oktober 2013

I worked in a high-pressured tasks given and not suitable with it's take home pay before! But I stayed quite long because I like the job and the people ambience around. Moreover I have a love-hate relationship with my previous boss. In one way she is a fun boss, where you could karaoke around with her and laugh aloud together. The other side of her, that she is stingy and rigid with company regulation. Worked in that company, I only came home 'early' on time, at 6pm maybe only for 3 times (the first week when I was a new employee). After that, I always go home after 8, 9, 10, 11, pm or even 12 am :O My overtime fee was only Rp 40.000 / night when I worked overtime after 9pm. If I went home at 8.55 pm I wouldn't get any overtime fee.

Sometimes my boss bought us snacks if we were working overtime and she is very strict about who responsible about what. When one of our office boy had an accident, her first question would be who will responsible for medicine fee. I have predicted such question would asked by her. But I never think before that it is her true color. Her true color is she doesn't care about anyone else. I remember, I wanted to go resigned from office before my working contract ended and I had to pay penalty fee. Because I wanted to keep good relationship with this office, I paid it 3x my salary fee. I didn't have much money at that time and try to bargain with my boss. But she refused it and asked me to borrow money to other colleague in my new department instead offer her help. How come! I believe there is such a circumstance between colleague in working where we couldn't do such thing. The stupid thing is I forgot about what she's done to me and who the real her doesn't care about other people.

So our lesson here:

1. Remember people couldn't change. When a person is such a jerk she/he would be a jerk forever. Don't get decieve with her/his friendliness
2. Never lend money to your colleague at office (your current office/previously)
3. Even when your colleague in her 'emergency' situation (based on her/his statement only that could be a lie), just give her/his the amount sincerely from your heart where is it okay for you not to ask the money return.

Surakarta, 12 April 2013.

Just in my previous post I've told you that I'm working fuck*ng hard in my recent office now.
Please look over to image attached beside :O

That is my overtime approval form for June 2012. My working hours from 6.00-18.00 but the fact, I'm still working after 18.00. This form is just made today, and you could see that in a week, how many hours I've spent at office. There are still 6 working days before cutting day at 25th.

Those are days when I was working in HR team. My office perhaps asking what the h*ll am I doing until this kind of late. So sorry but I have so much things to do and my boss keeps give so much works to do even nearby the end time of working. There is no way to escape and I also a person that hate to delay any task given. So here is the result.

I was tired and I hope I could get my me time for myself to take a rest, to socialize, even to have a spare time with my family. 

In college, I met a good friend where we share the same interests and opinions in common. We have a same level sense of humor, which is very rare to find. Over the time, after 6 years known each other I can feel that we are growing in a very different direction. I just realize that we have a very different point of view about life and how we act to face problems. My hunch said to be careful, there'll be a chance where we have a big argue in the future.

In this situation, at the past, definitely, I just left and played safe, decreased our communication intensity. If I won't do that, then there'll be a big argue between us, and the friendship was broken, even we grew into enemies each other. This is not a supertitious but a logical reasoning I face people whose personality is intolerateable (by my point of view).


So here is the list of intolerable character of people (by my point of view) :

1. Snob, always delete it from my friendlist. I believe snobbish is people who ungrateful and not feel satisfied with their life but want to be seen perfect.
2. Underestimate, think low about others. I believe that everyone have their own gifts and there's no one can underestimate others, judging by their education, career, family, and prosperity background. And I believe everyone want to be treated as human. 
3. Humiliation, pick out someone's weakness over and over. Satirize about somebody in front of public or in private conversation. Only the cowards who've done that.
4. Insincere, doing good things to other but have another purpose. Pretend to be a good friend, just want to take advantage of other people.
5. Egoistic, only think about themselves, there's no initiative to help other people at all.

In the past, I realized a good friend of mine, Ms. K has 3 of these characteristics (snob, humiliation, and insincere). Before, I thought I can still learn to torelate that. But at the end, we were fighting and our friendship never comes as good as before. We've becomes acquaintance now. Now, I just realize my other friend, Ms. A has 3 of these characteristics (underestimate, humiliation, and egoistic). Couple of times, she's been decieved by outer appearance of people. Few times she's already satirize about me and my life. A lot of numbers she's been so egoistic where I want to explode but I hold myself.

I'm pretty worried because my hunch said to careful befriends with her. I'm worried that there will be a problem where we are fighting and our friendship never recover. I know I can't change people. So the choice is, Take It or Leave It. As simple as that.

Last night, I went from library with my high school friend. We had a good, funny, and fun conversation. We haven't meet in long time. So a lot of stories to told HAHAHAHA. I took her home first and we still had a chat for 1 hour more lol.. Anyway, some of the conversation was rejoicing and make me glad to have her as a friend. Actually we are very different in physical, gesture-you can say that she is very very feminine, and I am the contrary HAHAHAHAHA. But both of us have a common thing, which is broadness of thinking and easily talk anything in our mind openly :D

One of our conversation that makes me think more, is from her story. She told me that before in our friends farewell party there was something funny about me. Once upon the time, me and a friend-Ms. T were the last ones to come to the farewell party. And I didn't know where exactly the party's held. So that I need a guidance from my friends who've already there. I asked their guidance by phone. I've already understand the road and in front of the alley, I met some of my friends who waiting for me. I was touched.


But, there was a behind story. My friend told me that a friend of us, Mr. D, actually didn't want to wait for me with others in front of the alley. He told my friend that "friska can do it by herself, she is strong" it sounds like a compliment if I translate in English, but in the real Indonesian words, it gave a irony understanding, he said "udahlah, si friska gak usah ditungguin, dia kan kekar". Just do laugh as your wish. But for me it's not funny and it's like an insulting phrase. Better him to say, "I'm lazy to wait for her" than saying that phrase. This story really shocked me out, that once again my analysis and thinking about common people physical taught are right.

There was also a time before, where I knew a friend of mine, Ms. L is a sweet and nice girl. And somehow EVERY MAN is able to help her. She is never has any difficulty with going anywhere and doing anything. All she has to do is ask for help and every man in our class doesn't hesitate to help her. I was wondering in that time, how come?? I compared that with myself, where it's very difficult to ask other help, for woman and man both. And anyone will not hesitate to NOT help me LOL. HAHAHAHA. It's ironic. From that time, I was thinking, why? the answer came and my cynical mind said, "it's because you are not pretty and you are don't have a weak image and needed to help" again, in English term it sounds normal. But in Indonesia terms, it sounds more sarcastic "Itu karena gw gak cakep, dan gak punya kesan lemah dan perlu dibantu". Anyway, it's just my thinking and I never think it's for real until last night.


I feel both happy and disappointed. Happy because another analysis from mine is right. Disappointed to realize that common people are everywhere and they will always think shallow and nothing can change them. That's why I feel like defeated by the world. The world and common people in it, are the winner. I can't do nothing to change them, I have to change to get accepted by the common people or I just stay as I am. If I want to stay as I am, I have to accept: this is the world, there are a lot of common people, nothing can change that. I have to accept everything the way it is and no more complaining about people behavior, even though it hurts me. It's disappointing but I have to accept it. No other choice, such as 'take it or leave it'. Because I can't leave the world forever, except I died lol wkwkwkwkwkwk :D

My feeling right now is miserable, feels break and hurt, it's indescribable. For many times, I feel my heart hurt again. I'm disappointed for the situation, for the people. How my heart hurt and break is indescribable. I can't describe it. I just feel empty and flat. I don't cry. My heart feels something I can't even describe.

For many times, in the past I've cried for some problems I can't solve and feel disappointed at. But I know, those cries never solve any problem. And then I stop crying. I feel my tears are so worth and valuable to threw for somebody invaluable. It's enough!

This morning I had chat with a good friend of mine. Didn't know how, but our conversation became deeper into physiological things. He said that tears are needed for anyone who already passed crisis time, where somebody release and solve their problems. Tears are a must and no way you can solve your 'heart of problem' without tears.

I said to him that I hate cry and tears, and I don't want to cry and ruin my 'happiness', mood, and my life 'stability'. But he said, if I do that, my problems will be accumulated. But I think it's okay. Because I'm not ready yet to face the problems all at once. I don't want to have a bad mood, become sad, unhappy, and cry for my problems. I'm pretty comfortable with my condition right now. By the end of conversation, I just asked him to be there for me, if that time, my confession time is came.

Just tonight, I come home little bit late and there's something incident that makes me pretty shock. Totally I think there's no use. I give up!! It's enough. It has to be ended. My patience is over. I will keep silent, no comment, and never to use my heart to anything happened in the future. I will use my flat emotion and never think anything about them. And of course there will be no tears for them.

When the world and the 'common' people are different from you...
Recently I had some conversations with friends. From usual chit chat it became a deeper conversation and confession to our secrets HAHAHAHA..
From our conversation and listen about other stories, I know that the world today and the 'common' people are very different from myself, my point of view about life. Lets talk first about beautifulness. Like I've written before in my post that appearance can deceiving, but the world today and 'common' people still do that.

1. My friend said, he was ask someone to be his girl friend, even though he didn't know much about her. He only interested (firstly) because of her 'beautifulness'. I said it 'beautiful' because I didn't think so, and I know already who is she, how is her behavior, and her dark side.
2. In some vacancies, appearance is still valuated, even though it's a back desk job
3. There are some men behavior where they are only want to be near beautiful women and prefer to talk with them than to talk with the average appearance women
4. And of course beautiful women always easier to be remembered than the average appearance women.

Everyone have their own problems. Like Indrawan Tjin said "the problem is yours". So do I. I have a pretty big problem related to time and money. More stressful I am,  more ignorant I become. I'm dizzy and even can't think and don't know whom I can shared this burned with. Too many problems in once.

Also like the old man said "you can't choose who your parents and family are". Nothing you can do about it. Every time I think about it, I just want to close my eyes and my ears, don't want to hear and see anything about it. I want to run, go out from this damned circle and cage. I find my happiness and freedom outside the house and don't want to think about it anymore. But every time I come home, the pressure and the problems again show up. I don't want to cry, I don't want to grumble much about this. I just want to go out, find my freedom and finish my problems. It just counting days on until the deadline.

Sometimes I think that death is the most easy way to run away from all those problems. But I don't want to suicide. I want to die naturally. So, in the past, I remember my pray to God, If it's His will, I'm not hesitate to die immediately. I know that life means suffer and pain vice versa with the happiness itself. Then, it's your own choice. It's all your point view, how you can see the world is. Yeah I know world and life is all happiness, life as human, can enjoy every moment of life and beautifulness but also life has problems. And the problems ******!!

Recently, I has some problems. It breaks my heart, where I have no one to trust.
I am already in the top of my patience limit. It's enough!! Enough is enough. But from that time, because of my disappointed, I can feel there's something wrong with me mentally.

I can't feel. I lose my heart. I can feel that I become a cruel person, with no mercy, can't believe on anybody. I'm become more cynical right now. I think that's worse than being a sarcastic person (that's what I was before). I'm become apathy, close my eyes, my ears, and my heart for other. Also don't want to be bothered with other problems.

I can feel it's not right. But at this time I can't help it. My hurt is killing. I need to heal, and I think maybe my apathy is the healing.  Even I can't drop tears right now. I'm losing my heart.

I was a bullying victim when I was in elementary school. The story began when I moved to other city, from Jakarta Selatan to Jakarta Timur area. I moved to a public school in 3rd grade. Even in my first day, I was bullied there. Mostly it was the boys who bullied me. In my first day there, they were hiding my ruler. I didn't like it. I was asking everybody where my ruler was but they were pretending didn't know. Even the girls also.
I mad at them and began crying. The worst thing was, my teacher didn't realize their bullying instead punished me to stand up in front of the class for crying.

From my first day at school, I hate them. I prevented myself then, to argue to the boys even fighting for them, if they were bullying me again. Unfortunately, the bullying didn't stop, it still happened until I was in Junior School. Seemed every boys in that public school where my primary school friends were there also, kept bullying me.
Still I was fighting alone for my own peace!! Nobody can help me. I really hate them. And until now, I hate those village people and village minded there!!! Kampungan!!! I remembered, I didn't have many friends. But still had a few good friends. I hated the boys, I hated the girls who tried to be "GAOL"!! And you know what happened to them right now, mostly that "GAOL" married already because of their pregnancy.

I decided to moved out from that village area school. I wanted to continue my High School really far away where my elementary school and junior high school friends couldn't be there. So, I decided to entered a good High School, in Cibubur area. Thanks God, I was entering my High School alone, without anybody from my elementary and junior high school students. And yeahh, I got my freedommm. That was the best years I ever had, where I could be myself, without anyone bullied at me. I met some good friends, seemed everybody in high school was my friends HAHAHA. Truly deeply from my heart I was grateful for God opening up my eyes, made me saw the opportunity to continue high school there :D

I love my friends there, I enjoyed school there, I had a great teenage time, life freely as me, Love them all.
Goodbye to my elementary school friends, at this time I still couldn't forgive you. But who knows what will be happened in the future. Maybe someday I can forgive and be friends with you in the future. But at this time, still I had the pain left in my heart. So, for these and more years I will not attend the elementary school reunion. Okay?