Friska Notes

It was around 2010 when I realized that I was into a man, lol. I think it was an infrequent occasion when I knew I liked a man, as a special someone, hahahaha. As a rational and logical person, I needed 23 years to finally like a man for the first time LOL.  At our first meeting, he was really impressive! The way he talked was so gentle yet convincing. His all presence was different from any person I knew; even now, I do not understand what exactly happened in my mind at that time. I do not believe in love at first sight, but that special feeling was there.  

Ten years later, I returned to Jakarta for a particular reason: God called me. Returning home to work permanently in Jakarta was something that never crossed my mind. I was happy to work outside the city's busy and materialistic life in Jakarta. I enjoyed my time to be there, either in Papua or Batam, yet God said I needed to return home.

Before leaving Batam, one of my prayers of confirmation was, if it is God willing for me to return home, maybe it is in His way also for me to meet my future husband. Because that's the way, I always joke when somebody gives me a work offer outside Batam. I said, "I do not think to move out from Batam at this moment, only for a crucial reason that can make me move out from Batam. For example, because of the reason, I am married to someone who lives outside Batam." HAHAHAHA. I am that confident, lol.  

When I was in Batam, I was on the journey of seeking God. Therefore, I pray frequently, have a better relationship with God, and put any matter in my heart in my prayer. I think in the way, Holy Ghost has his way of being closer to me and speaking gently into my heart and my mind.   

In September 2021, I returned to Jakarta, and the single mingle Jakarta 'market' lol. It is really easy and convenient to meet new people in Jakarta since this is my home. I always know how to connect and reconnect with my old circles and do new networking.  

Prayer still is something essential for my daily life in Jakarta.  

On the very rare occasion of meeting new people in Jakarta, there were twice I could feel 'something' talk in my mind. In January 2022, I had a date with this new man, who shared his not-so-easy childhood and struggle in life. In the middle of our conversation, a voice said, "Ini lelaki yang selama ini kamu cari, kan?" (This is the man you've been looking for). Oh, and FYI he is a Christian.  

I was shocked! That was my first experienced 'something' that said the words inside my head. It was 'something'! The Words are pointing at me, put me as the "you". This was very complicated and mysterious for me. It happened in our first meeting. However, the man is leaving Jakarta, so I think it is something I do not need to consider anymore, lol.   

Another experience also happened when I was in the Jakarta's single mingle market in May 2021. It was weird that, at that moment, I was in the fasting moment during the day. That night my friends and I were talking at our table until a group of men approached me.  

Note that "a group of men" means there was more than one man. However, after talking to this man for less than 20 minutes, a voice said something in my head, "Taat." (Obedience).  

I was genuinely shocked! I met this man in the bar btw, lol. I asked him right away if he was a Jesus follower and which church he frequently visited in Jakarta. My hunch was correct; he was a devoted Catholic.   

Seeing his 'cuteness' I knew right away that he was younger than me, and I asked what is his Chinese Zodiac, lol. It is a polite way to ask someone's age hahaha. We have ten years gap where I am older than him, lol. I told him not to consider anything more than a friend because of that age gap.  

Boldly he asked me about my relationship status and WhatsApp number, lol. He had no idea what he bumped into, hahaha. Later on, we chitted chat through WhatApp, and I told him about the situation where I was in my two weeks fasting at the moment I met him. Also, about my experience having the voice said "Taat" in my mind during our first met-up in the bar, lol.  

Because he is a devoted Catholic, he understands the Holy Ghost and takes my words seriously. It is not a joke. At this moment, we remained as a friend, and I knew I could always call him and ask for help. However, to remember our ten years gap and how different I am, compared to other women in his life, I think he was incapable of seeing if we could be that something in the future. Even though our conversation was good, enriching, and relaxing, lol.   

Many people said ordinary men would be inferior seeing me, how advanced my thinking, achievement, and vision of life. It seemed that I intimidated the commoners, lol. However, it never became my problem. I could not lower my standard in Jesus Christ. Having a driven and purposeful life in Jesus Christ is something I could not bargain.  

After eleven years, there was a situation where I was urgently required to talk with my first crush. Yes, you are right, after eleven years, lol. He answered my message kindly and kept asking and checking about being obedient to God's words.   

We shared the difficult time we needed to take action, answering God's calling in our life. For these years, I know he is a good person, but I never think he is really close to God. So actually, I am the surprised one!  

I was curious about his current news and did a little Google about him. I was shocked when I found one of his interview videos on YouTube; he was indeed a Godly man! In his response in the interview, how he measured his achievement not by the world standard but by God; he was the chosen man by God to run God's plan and kingdom on the earth. He is! Btw, FYI he is married happily with a wife and kids. He is also a Jesus follower.    

I am joyful to realize that The Holy Spirit has been with me since the beginning. Holy Spirit can recognize each other. At that rare moment, after 23 years, I get my first crush on someone, and he is not an ordinary man; he is a Godly man. 

Eleven years later, in 2022, I got another revelation, 'something' spoke in my head. This 'voice' was not wasted, but then I learned that 'love at first sight' was not love but the way the Holy Ghost speaks and confirms that the man in front of me is Godly.  

I am delighted to know that if it is the time, I believe that I will recognize the 'one.' Many people worldwide ask the same questions, "If he/she is the one?" "Who is my soulmate?" "How to make he/she fall in love?" People look for the answer through science, Quora pages, or asking people's opinions and worldy experiences.   

How many people will be bold enough to tell you that you will know the answer by praying to God? Based on this bizarre experience, I know I will know who a Godly man is; there is no need to worry or afraid about choosing the wrong spouse. If we are close to God, God will walk with us and show us His Way. Just like how Ruth and Boaz met. God is the divine matchmaker :D

God always answers our prayer; what He asks us is only one: our obedience.   

I will wait for your answer patiently, God.

Jakarta, 11 July 2022.