Friska Notes

I find something huge changed in my spiritual journey in these recent years; I learned to understand that God has an excellent pathway for us. You need to have faith and obey. I learned in the most challenging time that even though I want something badly, I always close my prayer by saying, "Thy will be done." 

My Will be Done 

This world tells us that we can be anything that we want. You are your "god" for yourself. You can do anything; nothing can stop you but you. Life is about "I" or "me." This is what I want, and that's what I will have. 

Is this wrong? As part of the positive mindset, it is not bad. However, this 'my will be done' mindset erased God's role and the sovereignty within our life. Will you stop for a while and ask yourself first, is this what I want, or if this is something that God wants to happen in my life? 

Do You Want It or Do You Need It? 

Interestingly, financial tips usually tell us to check again if we want something or need something before deciding to buy it. Now let us put this perspective into our life. Is this something in your prayer that you wish to be part of the world to possess for your benefit, or do you do it because it's what God wants and for His glory? Now, I see things differently. 

The Papua Incident 

I found there was corruption happened in my school in Papua, and I had the evidence. However, that removed principal would return as the principal the following school year. I could not accept this and told myself I could not compromise my values and integrity for evil. I decided not to continue working in that school even though there was no new job offer/vacancies at all. 

I remember crying in front of my PC in the library when I knew I would no longer work in that school. I prayed that God might open the way for me to find a new job, and I asked God if I still can work in Papua. 

It was tough because I love Papua wholeheartedly. I had my spiritual growth in Papua, and I love Papua so much. I wanted to be there in Papua permanently. I thought of building a youth or social community foundation in Papua, but I would begin it from scratch by having none to support me. I applied to several schools in Papua province, looking for a job as a librarian, where I believed that I had a compelling CV. However, none call me, not even for an interview. 

I sent some applications also for schools in Malaysia and Singapore and somehow found an international school in Batam (Batam is the border from Indonesia to Malaysia and Singapore). It was challenging to have the interview with my school in Batam because I was in Jayapura, where we had limited internet connection and 2 hours difference. 

There was no news from the school in Batam or other schools in Papua, and we had our end-of-school-year departing with the students. In my prayer and frequently crying, I asked God if I could work in Papua. However, I learned to believe in God's plan and always close my prayer by saying, "Thy will be done." 

Later, in the mid-week of June, I was confirmed that I was accepted in Batam. They issued my flight ticket and waited for me to arrive at the beginning of July. It was a 'coincidence' that I visited Batam for a project in 2012. Therefore, I already knew what Batam looked like, and going there would not be something to worry about. I told my family about this all things after everything settled down. They did not know about my situation at all. I did not want to make them worry. 

Even though I wanted to stay permanently in Papua, God told me that I was needed in Batam. That was what God wanted. True, in my three years in Batam, I evolved. Pustakawan Mendunia was born, I had my spiritual journey, and I found the church that helped me grow. Out of my mind, I won the award as the first winner, Pustakawan Berprestasi Provinsi Kepulauan Riau. 

The Scholarship 

When I wanted to apply for a scholarship overseas, I asked God if this was something that I wanted or if God desired it. For my part, I did the best for the application and requirements and let the rest upon God. I thought I applied four times to Korea, the USA (twice), and New Zealand, but none even called me for an interview. Was I sad? For sure, I was disappointed. Not even one interview I have been called. However, I wonder if this is something I want or if God's in my life? I reflect again on my motivation why I was applying for the scholarship? 

My goal is to foster the love of reading in children in Indonesia. I am not interested in staying permanently overseas because I know the one who needs help is Indonesia's children. I am on the way to that destination through Pustakawan Mendunia. I think having a degree from overseas will be helpful for the growth of Pustakawan Mendunia, and I will gain more expertise in that field and build networking to support its growth. 

The Job 

Currently, my brother is studying overseas, and it may be difficult for me to leave the country. Someone needs to be in charge of the situation at home, and that's one of the important reasons I think why God opened the door for me to return to Jakarta. I was not looking for a job in Jakarta; I did not want it. I felt like my life was okay in Batam; I got promoted, and I still had challenges to nail for my libraries in Batam. I love visiting Singapore and having the church service there. I have good friends and networking in Singapore and Malaysia. I prefer, and for sure, I want to stay permanently in Singapore. That's what I want. 

However, God told me that what I wanted was not what I needed. The job offers came from India, Cambodia, Jakarta, and Australia (the same month I arrived in Jakarta). I prayed for these job offers, and the job offer in Jakarta asked me to be there ASAP. Meanwhile, we were in the middle of the school's accreditation from our international program. 

I prayed and said that if this job offer came from God, God would make way for me to return home or lead me somewhere according to God's plan. However, I could not hurt my integrity in my work and leave my school in Batam in the middle of accreditation. Therefore, I rejected the work offer in Jakarta. 

God indeed made a way. The job offer was still there for me, and they said to wait for me after I was done with the school accreditation in Batam. Hallelujah. I did not even bother to ask about the salary or facilities offered by that school in Jakarta and to compare because I know no money can buy my integrity. 

When the HRD staff from my school in Jakarta told me they would wait for me, I cried in my prayer. Therefore I know that my returning to Jakarta is not something that happened because I wanted it, but because I am needed, God wants me to be closer to my family here in Jakarta. 

The Future Spouse 

I want him! HAHAHA. However, does God want him to be my husband and me to be his wife? 

Part of God's Kingdom and for His Glory 

I think from these three stories of my life; that God always shows me that God knows what I need to support God's plan for His Kingdom and glory. My life and pathways are not just happening like that. My pathway is part of God's plan for His Kingdom and glory. 

How do you know your pathway according to God's Kingdom and glory? Set up your standard and values in Jesus Christ. 

Be honest with yourself. Are your prayers only for material things and your benefit? Are you blinded by your desire and wants? Do you let yourself open your eyes and listen to God's voice about what God wants in your life? Be honest and have the humility that our capacity as human is limited. We can make our best effort but put the rest on God. Have faith that God always knows what the best for us. Close your prayers by saying, "Thy will be done." Wish we shared the same pathway for God's Kingdom on Earth. 

God bless you. 

Jakarta, 26 July 2022.