Friska Notes

How old are you now? Based on Asian circumstance, age becomes a ghoulish phantom into women's free-single life hahaha. The older you are, these questions would asked frequently, "When are you going to be married? Who is your boyfriend? Do not stay in a relationship too long, get married." and so forth. Asian women have those pressured questions asked from family, friends, acquaintances, or even strangers, LOL. 

Why does it seem we, women are in hurry of getting married? Women reproductive system is working in certain time and it will be ended in menopause period. We are going not to able to be pregnant and bare infant after the menopause time. So that's why if the women would like to have babies by birth, we the single ladies, 27 years old and above, feel almost run out of time. 

Will You Exchange Your Dreams?

Several of my female friends postpone to chase after their vision in life and exchange it into marriage. The others, prefer not to share their success and growth in their career just in the term not to make the spouse feeling's offended. The rest of it even blame on themselves when their relationship is failed because of women's lack and thought low about themselves. Male perspective pointed out us visionary women as too dominating, please.

If you, the male do not love us that much, just be with it. Never begin any relationship with us at the first place. 

Marriage is a Choice

In my opinion, to be married or not is your choice. You could even choose a free life, move in together with your boy/girlfriend not to marry him/her. I choose to be married but it doesn't mean I am going to marry anyone, whoever as long as the man want to marry me. I find this is ridiculous. 

I am open the chance to anyone who is interested in me, but be selective who is the right man to be my long lasting spouse. Ladies, never be hurry in getting married just because you feel you are in 'that age' already. Take your time, and see if the man in front of you really love you.

Love never hurt you. If your current man do something harmful to you i.e. say harsh words to you, hit or kick you, or even cheat on you, immediately leave that person, ASAP. Do not make excuses for him, saying he might be too emotional at that moment, or as it is your fault. Better to leave that useless man now before it is too late.

Never think about: you already known him for years, both your families know each other, people in your circle recognise you as lovebird etc. You might be worry that you could not find another guy recently to "fill' up your target to get married this year. If you are in this kind situation and read it, again let me emphasise: leave that foolish man. You deserve a man who loves you, treats you as human, and respects you as an essential part of his current and future life.

He is That into Me :)

I do not know how male could describe their love, if there is any love in man perspective, lol. How I see love is : accepting! You accept the whole person of your spouse. Including being supportive for his/her dream. So, if a man truly love me, he will not ask me to leave and bury my dream and exchange it with marriage. 

I wrote How to Manage Your Eros Love in this blog previously to discuss further about the unconditional love. In my radical, idealistic, naive perspective of love, this condition should be implemented both sides. Not only me to the spouse, but also from him to me. 

So that, if I ever listened any complain from male side who mock me to become too ambitious, intimidating, or dominating, I would say that man is not going to be an important part of my life. When a man is lack in confidence, it is not my fault but his problem.

Moreover that insecure man is not worth of my genuine love and invaluable time. And yeah, we have to admit this harshly to ourselves, "He is not that into you." It might be a title of a book and movie but it is damn*d true. 

If he is that into you, you will see and realise that :

Batam, 6 February 2019