To be Married or Not

My greatest fear in my life is to be married. Before, I have a conversation with my friend whose make me realize more about this fear. GOD!! Help me please.. Like I shared with you in my previous post in my blog, which I love children and I have to find an alive mate and married to have children. Have a chit chat with my friend, make me more realize that decide to marry is not easy at all.
  1. First of all, I have to meet an alive person whom I like and he like me also (must be single, not someone's husband)
  2. He should be appreciate others, humble, and not a liar
  3. He should be someone who has good education, smart for real (I don't need a very high GPA-smart person, it's your smartness in life whom I need the most), little bit funny, modern, has good perspective about gender, has a modern and open minded family background, and willing to help his mate in household stuff
Even I never meet any guy who's capable fulfilled with these requirements: good 'chemistry', character, and background. It's still a long journey for me to meet any mate like that. Somehow I'm pessimistic that there is still a (single) man like this exist in this earth.
The other problem is how to make sure that he is trustworthy to be married with? How can I make sure myself that he is the right man, will be faithful, and those three requirements are real fulfilled, not a fake??
It's scary!! How can you believe someone to accompany you, to be your partner forever in your life? What if he's totally different from those three requirements, and you can't find it out before you are married. What a pity!!! That means that you are trapped in a long life marriage, unhappy, and stressful forever until the rest of your life!! OMG!!! It's so super for you all out there, who's already made a decision to marry and don't regret it!! How brave you are!! I hope someday I'll have that kind of braveness :(
I adore children so much and I want to have children by my own. But, I can't have any child without married! Instead I'm fear it!!! I'm pretty dizzzy right now :S

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