Since January, I had a pretty bad mood where I always keep wondering about the question "why". Then I remember this is just a mourning as a friend, then how about her family, her boyfriend who are always stand beside her everyday??
My mourning is nothing compare to them. Not only sad, I was also regretting because I was not able to meet her in her final day. Just lately I realize, maybe God has a plan. God wants me to move forward, to be motivated, to fulfilled anything she can't do at this moment anymore. Perhaps God doesn't allow me to see her for the last time because knows how sensitive am I. The good thing I never seen her when she was sick is-I only have memories of our good time together. I only remember her smile, her laugh, and her voice in a happy and healthy condition. Things will be more crazy for me if I see her in sick and pain. I believe watch her felt hurt is worse. That will catch me forever until my own game over as the regretion I've already felt until now.
Just remember one day before her passed away, I had a strong feeling to meet her. But it was lately at night, so I just tried to call her but nobody picked up the phone. Then I sent her sms that I'll drop by at her house at friday. And on friday morning I received a message from other friend and she was already passed away on thursday night. I couldn't believe my eyes and I thougt I was dreaming. I still remember how sunk I was in that day. Horrible.
The first months after she left was very hard. I felt down in many days. I felt uncomfortable, I felt this shouldn't her way to left this word. I kept asked God, "why", "how could You done this?". Five months after her left and a month after her birthday, here I am writing this blog to you, readers.
She still remains in my heart. I believe she is very happy right now and free from her pain. When I'm feeling sad, when some people called my friends disappointed me, when I had a huge burden, when I miss a lot a friend like her, I'll remember her, her eyes, her face, her smile, her behavior, her favourites, her couragement for me. I owe you so much Novy Farah Margono. Rest in peace ya Farah, we'll meet again someday in the future rite? Love you and miss you a lot my dear friend....
My mourning is nothing compare to them. Not only sad, I was also regretting because I was not able to meet her in her final day. Just lately I realize, maybe God has a plan. God wants me to move forward, to be motivated, to fulfilled anything she can't do at this moment anymore. Perhaps God doesn't allow me to see her for the last time because knows how sensitive am I. The good thing I never seen her when she was sick is-I only have memories of our good time together. I only remember her smile, her laugh, and her voice in a happy and healthy condition. Things will be more crazy for me if I see her in sick and pain. I believe watch her felt hurt is worse. That will catch me forever until my own game over as the regretion I've already felt until now.
Just remember one day before her passed away, I had a strong feeling to meet her. But it was lately at night, so I just tried to call her but nobody picked up the phone. Then I sent her sms that I'll drop by at her house at friday. And on friday morning I received a message from other friend and she was already passed away on thursday night. I couldn't believe my eyes and I thougt I was dreaming. I still remember how sunk I was in that day. Horrible.
The first months after she left was very hard. I felt down in many days. I felt uncomfortable, I felt this shouldn't her way to left this word. I kept asked God, "why", "how could You done this?". Five months after her left and a month after her birthday, here I am writing this blog to you, readers.
 |
| Farah and her boyfriend, Rimong |
No comments:
Post a Comment