Almost Crazy

It sounds like a movie title, "Almost Famous" but unfortunately it's not. Recently these past weeks I had a up and down mood changed drastically. A lot of problems at once, it almost made me explode. Even I was pretty worried, was I already crazy at that time or not.

I locked myself in room, didn't go outside house, turned off my hand phone for days, made my any communication device offline, such as Facebook chat, yahoo messenger, and Skype. Truly I was not in a good mood to have a chit chat even in such simple conversation. I didn't want to meet and talk happily with everybody alive. I was depressed enough to write any updates in Facebook. Though I still accessed internet, run away with online manga and gave comments in some interesting case in Facebook.

That's why I left my last blog in title "I'm such a coward" because truthfully I am a coward. I'm not brave enough to face my problems. I thought I can run away from the situation, live in the imagination and dreaming condition. But it's not last long. Time goes by and my problems are not solved yet. The problems there, don't move. Even the situation become more complex because the time is running and counting on.

I can't say that I've healed but I feel little bit better now. At least I realize that time is still there, running, and I have to move on. Nothing else. I can feel that deep down inside I'm still not in recovery condition yet. Once again I have to say to myself, I HAVE TO MOVE ON.. This is the world, you can't change it. Just accepted it the way it is. It such an impossible dream to live in a perfect life, happily ever after. Too many hopes and imagination only can hurt you, because the fact life is not as happy as it may seems. Like an old phrase "bittersweet". Yes, life is a bittersweet process. Nobody can't separate both of them. Just accept them both.

I can't share openly what my problems are. It's too hurt for me to tell the story repetition by writing, talking, or sharing. It will only wakes up my sadness again. I don't want to remember any of them. I want to forget them but I can't. It's only a run away action, don't give any solution. Now, I'm not in a very good mood but I feel better to try communication with others. Please at this time, don't bother me with problems, don't add anymore problems with me. Just leave me at this time alone and just meet me for having fun. Nowadays, I just need some simple conversations, chit chat, and having fun. Big salutation for you my friends who read this, and try to understand me here. Deeply sorry for you whose feel I'm irresponsible or so mysterious. I'm just not able to meet a lot people for more problems at this time.

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