Lately, something is happened beyond my circumstance and push me to move out from my parents house. Little bit shameful compare to most teenager in USA or Europe whose moving out already from their parents house. Here in Asia or let me share in specific : Indonesia, living together with parents is something 'normal'.
Asia culture points about family togetherness and obeying parents words which I find is not suitable for this current life. Parents and their children were born in different era and have a very different point of view (especially if parents put their children at school). What can we learn from this difference? You can't push your value and standard to other people, including your own children. What can parents do is offering their value and standard but they have to remember it is OFFERING not PUSHING or even FORCING.
Living together with parents means saving your money to rent place, electricity & water bill to live. But you have to sacrifice your freedom, have to hear interruption and complain from parents about your life and your decision about some matters. For many years, I am troubled about this and found my freedom when I worked outside Jakarta and living by myself.
Too bad my freedom is ended by the time my working contract is completed. I came back to Jakarta after traveling for 2 months and living together (again) with my family. Yes, my mom bad habit shows up again as usual. More interruption and complain towards my life and my career path choice. Until one day I can't stand anymore and I think this is ENOUGH! No more life like this!!! I decide to move out and staying in my friends house.
Another problem is: I have no money, have no job, still looking for a job, and attended several job interviews.
Another decision come through this situation : I have to got a job and working outside the city as far as possible and as soon as possible.
By stroke of luck, there are several working opportunities outside Jakarta as a librarian. The choices are : Jambi, Bandung, Bali, and Timika. I applied the job and attended the interview and did the test for the job in Jambi, Bandung, and Timika. Three of them gave a positive response furthermore two of them said they are accepted me for that position. So, which one I choose? It is the farthest : Timika.
So what is my lesson about moving out?
- I should do this earlier
- You should do this also
Asia culture points about family togetherness and obeying parents words which I find is not suitable for this current life. Parents and their children were born in different era and have a very different point of view (especially if parents put their children at school). What can we learn from this difference? You can't push your value and standard to other people, including your own children. What can parents do is offering their value and standard but they have to remember it is OFFERING not PUSHING or even FORCING.
Can you imagine if you are already 25 years old but have parents who've treat you like kid and you have no power to say your opinion? If you are reading this writing, above 21 years old, and have problem like this, I suggest you to move out from your parents house so you will find freedom and peace of mind.
Jakarta, 24 October 2013.
