Reunion Feast

2 weeks before I got invitation both by message and an event invitation through facebook to attend a gathering from my past circle of friend. I was thinking that maybe I will not suitable anymore to join that kind of gathering. So I decided not to come to that reunion feast and somehow I questioning myself how they decide to make an invitation because not everybody is invited.

Just a day before the event, the junior member sent me a message to remind me again about the gathering. Because he is a junior and didn't know much about my withdrawal, maybe he doesn't realize about the condition and just invites me according by his phone number list. I was asking him, is it okay if I come to that gathering. And he said why not, just come and gather. I rethinking again that maybe if I don't come it will be the last invitation from them ever (in my batch there less than 20 persons are invited). So I decided to come and like what I was thinking the situation is not very friendly for me individually within my own batch :(

I don't want to think negatively but it's how my sense capturing at the moment. The situation between me and them personally is pretty stiff. That's why I prefer to sit down near my juniors who don't have any pretentious thinking and don't know much about the situation before. At last I can enjoy the event little bit have a chit chat with them. Thanks to you all kids hahahaha, sounds like I am an old man..

The sad thing comes when I see the pictures which uploaded on the facebook tonight. There is our batch and our division pictures together. And so sad to see those smile even I have to grin widely (unfortunately it's not a smile). For me, it's a loss that moment we can't share with our other friends who cut by the system off. I miss them a lot and I feel it will be much happier if they are all gathering together there and take pictures together. I can't blame it to anybody, it's useless :( I have no power there to say anything. I've tried once but no body listen to me and consider it seriously. I can't help anymore. I feel lost right now that I can't protect my friends. I can't defend them. I was too egoistic only thinking about myself and my dumb theses that I just ran away from the situation. I'm sorry for that and too sad for me to admit it, but totally this is one of my big failure ever in my life. I can't help my friends, I can't defend them, I'm not capable to do renewal in our system. I'm nobody there.

I hope one day, we can be mature enough to realize that friendship should not get ended like this. In my point of view, I think we are all friends, it just the system and your own ego who blind the eyes to see the goodness in people. For me, anything you call it, suspension, withdrawal or retirement, it won't broke our friendships. For me you are still my friends whatever people say and opinion. And life is so complex for us to even think more about the ego. Hopefully you will realize it one day and will respect each one of your friend.

Have Fun at Work

Before, I have made a post in my multiply blog about my so so life. Because of my theses, I always get scared and not brave enough to face anything new opportunities. I rejected to apply job offers, to take an internship, or to have fun travelling for days. But I still can't take it if I have to face only theses for one term. I thought it will feel like hell if I'm only come outside from house only for research and consultation with lecture. So that I took a Spanish language class at my campus. It's pretty easy and the lecture was great at teaching. I've taken Spanish language class for 2 terms already. Even in my last term I also took a free Portuguese language class in their embassy at Menteng. It was free, and became a reunion with my old friend Syenni also I met new interesting classmates there. Other good point is I became familiar with Menteng area and the roads so that it's pretty easy for me to come home from my work today. I even use the shortcut way HAHAHA.

I admit, took 2 language classes which taken most of my time in a week was very wasteful. I don't have much time for theses. Now, I don't take any classes and even get brave enough to apply some job/internship application. My first application in a flight company was rejected. But last week I got offered for a job-a flexible one in a national commission nearby Manggarai area. The work situation is GREAT, SUPER, very very very friendly, I get lunch there, the time is flexible (minimum 3 workdays in a week), and the payment is pretty good hihihi :)

Surprised to myself, I work very diligent. I'm able to get work on time (before I frequently come late at class),  work hard from 9am to 12pm, and continue work again from 1pm to 4 pm. It's fascinating. I don't feel tired even I feel energetic and want to finish my job as soon as possible. Because I realize as soon I finish my job, I can concentrate again on my theses on 100% concentration. One more thing, the food is delicious, and I can eat rice as much as I can hihihi. So I can say, nutrition is guaranteed there, if I need a cup of tea or coffee I'm free to make one for myself. This is my day 3 at work, but I have to come to work again tomorrow because there will be an online catalog training in office. Still I'm happy and enjoy it a lot. Praise the God :))

"Ecclesiastes 3: 3 He has made everything right in its time; but he has made their hearts without knowledge, so that man is unable to see the works of God, from the first to the last."

Long Time No See

Hi world, long time no see you :)

Lately, I was in a very bad mood, still in my troubles and stressful mode on. One by one my problems are solved and lucky me, I can solve it without make other people fussed over :) yeah at least I guess so hihihi.

Anyway, I still have one big problem where I MUST solve it in no matter of time!! It's my theses or in bahasa Indonesia called as SKRIPSI!! A lot problems come throughout my theses, from the research objects, my lecture who guide my theses and my own psychological problems whom I can't face her by my own. Damn it!! Even though begins a new theses subject is very hard, continue my last subject with that lecture is the worst!!!

Thanks God who answer my pray. Before I thought have I ask my friend who able to see the future to make a decision about my theses subject, should I continue the last or just make a new subject. But deep down in myself, shame on me if I ask such that thing to my friend. It sounds like I depend myself to someone not to God. So in my pray I said, "God please help me decide which one should I choose. I don't want to make you disappointed by asking my friend. I want your help by your blessing. Shame on me if I still asked my superstitious friend." And God answers my pray. I have a chance to do an internship in Komisi Nasional XXX. It's in the library and I think this is the chance for me to find a new subject for my theses and research object at once. I will work from this monday hopefully everything gonna be allright (sounds like a song rite?) hihihi. Wish me always for the best :)

William Albert Audrey

William Albert Audrey, or other last name such as Andrew or Ardlay is the key character in Candy Candy manga. He was the first character in manga whom I read, and I fell in love with him. He is a dream prince for me. Lucky me at least my prince charming is not like ordinary prince who riding the white horse hahaha. Albert is a free will man, kind hearted, love animals, caring, sweet, and the plus side, he is very very handsome :)

Candy Candy is a story written by Kyoko Mizuki (Keiko Nagita) and the illustration drew by Yumiko Igarashi. First written as a novel, made as manga, then animation. Too bad, there's a conflict between the author and the illustrator so that Candy Candy is out of print. You only can read manga or watch the anime in the last edition. Lucky me, I've collected all 8 from 9 Candy series. Still looking for the number 2. I've missed that number :( I think I will not write a lot about Candy stories here. Because what I want to write right now is about my prince charming William Albert Audrey HAHAHA.

Albert met Candy firstly when Candy was 3 years old, at the the Pony Hill.  After that, they both met again in forest near Lakewood where Candy run away from child abuse at her 'foster' parents. Albert helped Candy who almost drown in the lake. He later became Candy foster parent but nobody know the truth until the end of the story. Moreover Albert always appears in the right time and the right place when Candy needed help. He is a gentleman and will make us the reader feel deep sympathy for him hihihi. End of Candy story shows us that Candy and Albert seems will have a furthermore relationship, not as a foster parent and foster child anymore. The story is ended by the fact that Albert is Candy's first love, and I do support that :)) I think no other men will be suitable for Candy, who can accept her and her life sorrow as much as Albert does.

The writer is ended the story just like that without other explanation. That's why the readers such as me, are very curious to know how the story really end. What is Mizuki real idea about the ending. Too bad because of the authority problems, Mizuki is not in a very good mood for writing anymore about Candy :( She wants to get over that. And we all the fans who also suffering here. Thanks to you Irigashi!!! Some fans then, try to make their own fan fiction about Candy. Too bad not many people support Candy-Albert relationship :((
A lot more who support Candy-Terry relationship, even though the manga said that Candy-Terry relationship is ended. Another brokenhearted fan fiction stories even make Albert-Eleonor (Terry's mom) relationship. How could you!!! The other try to make Albert meets other mate which is very similar to Candy's character. I think this one is more appropriate than Albert-Eleonor relationship!!

I read a lot of Candy fan fictions, especially the stories which tell about Albert-Candy hahahaha. But it only in the little amount. Also information about Albert in manga is not very detailed because he is a mysterious man in the manga itself. I had a pretty hard information searching to find more about Albert and his pictures. It looks like the fans in Spain and Japan who made a pretty good writing about Albert and more history about Audrey family. Thanks to Google Translate that help me to understand the information basically. You can check here to know more about Albert.

Identity:

Name: William Albert Audrey / William Albert Andrew/ William Albert Ardlay
Date of birth: June 28, 1890
Hair Color: golden yellow
Eye color: blue sapphire
Height: 1.85 cm
Weight: 75 kg.
Figure: athletic.
Zodiac Sign: Cancer

It has chosen the year of birth, depending on the age of majority (21 years in the U.S.) required for the character might take to Candy, who was 13 at the time of adoption: 1911. So Albert and Candy should be a minimum of eight years. That understanding that adoption is after June 28, 1911. Candy identity data provided by Mizuki in 1977 for the magazine Nakayoshi.

Personality

Albert is the heir to the clan Audrey, unique from all branches of the family, which bears the name. He is responsible for the management and conservation of all heritage of Audrey, as well as assume the leadership of the house, until then held by Elroy. In manga, Albert right hand for Audrey business is George, and their sudden disappearance, probably due to a business, others by the desire to travel.

He is a man of independent character. He loves nature, animals, freedom in general and humans in particular.
It is peaceful, courageous, honest and a person of unimpeachable morals. Quite far from the stereotype of a gentleman conservative early twentieth century, a liberal man today, the champion of equality between men and women, environmentalist, but undeniably romantic and chivalrous. His parents died in unspecified circumstances, and the only person close to him of a certain age is Elroy, petty woman, ambitious, and a moral full of prejudice. All this makes us think that education is falling out of love and its future liability, which leads him to fill the emotional gaps through his love of wildlife.

Anyway, the funny thing is some fans have a pretty wild imagination. We hope that someday Candy Candy can be filmed. And the nomination for Albert cast are : Brad Pitt and Hugh Grant hahaha :)) Like that very much!!

Just for fun, here are some other fans imagination:

Drew Barrymore as Candy

Tom Welling as Anthony

Anne Hathaway as Annie

Ashton Kucher as Archie

Daniel Ratcliffe as Stea

Nicole Kidman as Eleonor

Nice right?? hihihihi Anyway, here are some interesting links whom you can try to read on about Albert:
http://candyandley.hakel.net/personajes_albert.html
http://www.camilliepineiro.com/mapsypsrules/pages/queyquienes.htm
http://candy-blanca.com/quien_es_albert.html
http://www.facebook.com/pages/William-Albert-Andrew-el-mejor-de-todos/104828712890472
http://www.minitokyo.net/William+Albert+Ardlay
http://usuarios.multimania.es/albertcandyworld/_private/lapareja/albert.htm
http://www.candy-blanca.com/albertmania/peligro.htm
http://candyneige.com/encyclopedie/recre/movie/albertmovie.htm
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MyPrince/
http://a-lot-of-candy.candypop.jp/miscellaneousnotes6.htm
http://homepage2.nifty.com/machiboke/uramachi/17.htm
http://www.asminor.info/lady_freckle/fans/cc_aime.htm
http://foroandrew.diaryland.com/waabio.html
http://www.peko-peko.jp/chronology.html
http://profile.ameba.jp/albert-candycandy/


Happy reading :)))

Almost Crazy

It sounds like a movie title, "Almost Famous" but unfortunately it's not. Recently these past weeks I had a up and down mood changed drastically. A lot of problems at once, it almost made me explode. Even I was pretty worried, was I already crazy at that time or not.

I locked myself in room, didn't go outside house, turned off my hand phone for days, made my any communication device offline, such as Facebook chat, yahoo messenger, and Skype. Truly I was not in a good mood to have a chit chat even in such simple conversation. I didn't want to meet and talk happily with everybody alive. I was depressed enough to write any updates in Facebook. Though I still accessed internet, run away with online manga and gave comments in some interesting case in Facebook.

That's why I left my last blog in title "I'm such a coward" because truthfully I am a coward. I'm not brave enough to face my problems. I thought I can run away from the situation, live in the imagination and dreaming condition. But it's not last long. Time goes by and my problems are not solved yet. The problems there, don't move. Even the situation become more complex because the time is running and counting on.

I can't say that I've healed but I feel little bit better now. At least I realize that time is still there, running, and I have to move on. Nothing else. I can feel that deep down inside I'm still not in recovery condition yet. Once again I have to say to myself, I HAVE TO MOVE ON.. This is the world, you can't change it. Just accepted it the way it is. It such an impossible dream to live in a perfect life, happily ever after. Too many hopes and imagination only can hurt you, because the fact life is not as happy as it may seems. Like an old phrase "bittersweet". Yes, life is a bittersweet process. Nobody can't separate both of them. Just accept them both.

I can't share openly what my problems are. It's too hurt for me to tell the story repetition by writing, talking, or sharing. It will only wakes up my sadness again. I don't want to remember any of them. I want to forget them but I can't. It's only a run away action, don't give any solution. Now, I'm not in a very good mood but I feel better to try communication with others. Please at this time, don't bother me with problems, don't add anymore problems with me. Just leave me at this time alone and just meet me for having fun. Nowadays, I just need some simple conversations, chit chat, and having fun. Big salutation for you my friends who read this, and try to understand me here. Deeply sorry for you whose feel I'm irresponsible or so mysterious. I'm just not able to meet a lot people for more problems at this time.