Dying Because Smoking

Okay, I think it's not necessary for me to explain what's smoking effect. You should have already known the bad effects. The bad thing, the effects are not only for you the smoker (who I don't care, because it's your own choice) but also your family and people nearby where you are smoking (this what I really care).

There was 2 died family member whose they weren't smoking but their father was. They passed away in young age because of lung disease. And recently, one of my family member, a 50 years old women in dying condition because of worst intestine disease. FYI, her husband was a smoker. And one of their sons already died because the lung disease I have told you before.

Maybe you will say, that it was a coincidence. But for me the coincidence is coming from the smoking family history.
I won't forbid you to smoke. Like I said, it is your own choice, it's not my job to judge you. The problem and something you should pay more attention are, careful with your smoking, smoking in places there is not many people, and keep go to doctor for medical check up annually. May God Bless Us

Holding My Breath Away - thesis problem

I have already worked on my thesis in almost one year. And yesterday, after my thesis guidance, I just think that I have to begin my thesis, again from the first point. I just think that a long this time I wasted my time working on thesis for one year but now, I have to work on that oldies thesis from first.

I mean, what is the meaning of my one year time?? Why doesn't it mean anything?? Why I have to work on that thesis from beginning after passed one year?? I feel tired to work on that same topic thesis, again from beginning. Even I have to change my research method :(.

The good point is, finally my thesis got attention, and my thesis weakness is showed to me. I'm very grateful for that. So, I have the real and feeling like a very comprehensive thesis guidance. So, what's needed to be done now? I have to search for more new literature, newer from my bibliographic list now. Strange thing is I hard to find the resource in 2000s publication time. Maybe, I'll look for more resource use other keywords. Also I have to contact my research places, told them, that after one year, I'll change my methods :(.

I'm feel tired, and want to leave that oldies thesis. But I have to work on it. It's the only way for me, to get out from my oldies college. The only way!! Because it’s  the only way for me to get graduate. Leave my major in college, by a trial thesis, and passed it. GOD!!

Holding My Breath Away - friendship problems

Recently, I get some problems that needed a decision. It's not an easy decision, I think I need more time to examine that. But something inside me said, I have to make decision faster, and practice it right away. First my problem is about friendship. Once upon a time, I made a relationship (friends) with him. From the start point, I knew that he is not a good person. What I mean here that he has some character whom I don't like. Such as, boastful, snobbish, egoistic, and too possessive. I don't know why (again, like Norah Jones' song), we made a friendship even though my intuition said that he is not a good person to be friends with. Then we had fight because his rudeness, and he humiliated me in front of public. I became very mad. Never pick up his calls, never answer his sms, to indicate that I totally angry and don't want to see him anymore!!

Unfortunately, that stupid stubbornness moronic man still can't figure out what's happened and keep trying to contact me! Then he thought that I just angry because only small thing. FYI, I'm a logic person, and don't easy to get angry only for cheesy things. And still he didn't get it!! Moron!! Even I want to delete him from my facebook friends list, but my friends keep saying that's delete him from facebook is too much. So, what am I doing? I just delete his news feed from facebook so that I don't have to see his damned face on facebook anymore. Too bad, that he and me have a lot of common friends where he usually gives comments to our friends, where (again) I have to see that damned face again!!

These things make me dizzy. More additional problem is he and me have one good friend, that maybe she feels trapped between us. Bad thing happened when she had to choose me or him. His ego keep saying that she always chooses me better than him. That bastard!! She chose him, and I already knew and understood her decision, that she chose him not me. The way she ingratiated him, I don't like it. She chose him, because she is afraid to him. I think she is a coward, and that makes me think more about her. Do I need also to evaluate my friendship with her? That's the second problem...

I have made decision, that I don't want to be trapped in that kind of situation anymore, neither for her also. So that I want to leave her, and let her with her new buddy HAHAHA!! Just enjoy that. And my guarantee, as long as he doesn't change (and I believe people don't change), he will insult her someday. Hopefully you both will be lived happily ever after.

Extraverted Sensing with Introverted Thinking (ESTP)

I like to use facebook quizzes, and found that one of my friend used a facebook quiz, to found out his character category. So that, I joined the quiz also, and found out that I am in Extraverted Sensing with Introverted Thinking (ESTP) category. Because of my curiosity at that time about myself character, I looked for more information in google, and found some interesting facts about this personality categorization.

The history itself, this personality categorization was compiled by Carl G. Jung in his book "Psychological Types". This theory then was developed by Isabel Briggs Myers, Katharine Cook Briggs, and David Keirsey. Keirsey referred to ESTP as Promoters one of the four types belonging to the temperament he called the Artisan. ESTPs account for about 4–10% of the population. So ESTP people are very rare, we are special HAHAHA..

How Myers and Keirsey can make a categorization? They made it from your own dominant character. So perhaps the result is not very compatible because not your entire traits are described in this character category. But it shows your dominant category. For me, reading the result makes me breath better :D

Because I find some similarities there, and I have already known that these are my traits. Nothing's wrong with that. It just makes me relieved, not worried about my traits are wrong or not. There are some good website that can explain me well about my traits and how to maximize that for your own goodness. It makes me more confident about whom I really am and makes me relieve to accept myself, the way it is.

Btw, there are 16 dominant characters (Myers), such as :
ISTJ (Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Thinking), The Duty Fulfiller
Quiet, serious, earn success by thoroughness and dependability. Practical, matter-of-fact, realistic, and responsible. Decide logically what should be done and work toward it steadily, regardless of distractions. Take pleasure in making everything orderly and organized – their work, their home, their life. Value traditions and loyalty.

ISFJ (Introverted Sensing with Extraverted Feeling), The Nurturer
Quiet, friendly, responsible, and conscientious. Committed and steady in meeting their obligations. Thorough, painstaking, and accurate. Loyal, considerate, notice and remember specifics about people who are important to them, concerned with how others feel. Strive to create an orderly and harmonious environment at work and at home.

INFJ (Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Feeling), The Protector
Seek meaning and connection in ideas, relationships, and material possessions. Want to understand what motivates people and are insightful about others. Conscientious and committed to their firm values. Develop a clear vision about how best to serve the common good. Organized and decisive in implementing their vision.

INTJ (Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Thinking), The Scientist
Have original minds and great drive for implementing their ideas and achieving their goals. Quickly see patterns in external events and develop long-range explanatory perspectives. When committed, organize a job and carry it through. Skeptical and independent, have high standards of competence and performance – for themselves and others.

ISTP (Introverted Thinking with Extraverted Sensing), The Mechanic
Tolerant and flexible, quiet observers until a problem appears, then act quickly to find workable solutions. Analyze what makes things work and readily get through large amounts of data to isolate the core of practical problems. Interested in cause and effect, organize facts using logical principles, value efficiency.

ISFP (Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Sensing), The Artist
Quiet, friendly, sensitive, and kind. Enjoy the present moment, what’s going on around them. Like to have their own space and to work within their own time frame. Loyal and committed to their values and to people who are important to them. Dislike disagreements and conflicts, do not force their opinions or values on others.

INFP (Introverted Feeling with Extraverted Intuition), The Idealist
Idealistic, loyal to their values and to people who are important to them. Want an external life that is congruent with their values. Curious, quick to see possibilities, can be catalysts for implementing ideas. Seek to understand people and to help them fulfill their potential. Adaptable, flexible, and accepting unless a value is threatened.

INTP (Introverted Thinking with Extraverted Intuition), The Thinker
Seek to develop logical explanations for everything that interests them. Theoretical and abstract, interested more in ideas than in social interaction. Quiet, contained, flexible, and adaptable. Have unusual ability to focus in depth to solve problems in their area of interest. Skeptical, sometimes critical, always analytical.

ESTP (Extraverted Sensing with Introverted Thinking), The Doer
Flexible and tolerant, they take a pragmatic approach focused immediate results. Theories and conceptual explanations bore them – they want to act energetically to solve the problem. Focus on the here-and-now, spontaneous, enjoy each moment that they can be active with others. Enjoy material comforts and style. Learn best through doing.

ESFP (Extraverted Sensing with Introverted Feeling), The Performer
Outgoing, friendly, and accepting. Exuberant lovers of life, people, and material comforts. Enjoy working with others to make things happen. Bring common sense and a realistic approach to their work, and make work fun. Flexible and spontaneous, adapt readily to new people and environments. Learn best by trying a new skill with other people.

ENFP (Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Feeling), The Inspirer
Warmly enthusiastic and imaginative. See life as full of possibilities. Make connections between events and information very quickly, and confidently proceed based on the patterns they see. Want a lot of affirmation from others, and readily give appreciation and support. Spontaneous and flexible, often rely on their ability to improvise and their verbal fluency.

ENTP (Extraverted Intuition with Introverted Thinking), The Visionary
Quick, ingenious, stimulating, alert, and outspoken. Resourceful in solving new and challenging problems. Adept at generating conceptual possibilities and then analyzing them strategically. Good at reading other people. Bored by routine, will seldom do the same thing the same way, apt to turn to one new interest after another.

ESTJ (Extraverted Thinking with Introverted Sensing), The Guardian
Practical, realistic, matter-of-fact. Decisive, quickly move to implement decisions. Organize projects and people to get things done, focus on getting results in the most efficient way possible. Take care of routine details. Have a clear set of logical standards, systematically follow them and want others to also. Forceful in implementing their plans.

ESFJ (Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing), The Caregiver
Warmhearted, conscientious, and cooperative. Want harmony in their environment, work with determination to establish it. Like to work with others to complete tasks accurately and on time. Loyal, follow through even in small matters. Notice what others need in their day-by-day lives and try to provide it. Want to be appreciated for who they are and for what they contribute.

ENFJ (Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Intuition), The Giver
Warm, empathetic, responsive, and responsible. Highly attuned to the emotions, needs, and motivations of others. Find potential in everyone, want to help others fulfill their potential. May act as catalysts for individual and group growth. Loyal, responsive to praise and criticism. Sociable, facilitate others in a group, and provide inspiring leadership.

ENTJ (Extraverted Thinking with Introverted Intuition), The Executive
Frank, decisive, assume leadership readily. Quickly see illogical and inefficient procedures and policies, develop and implement comprehensive systems to solve organizational problems. Enjoy long-term planning and goal setting. Usually well informed, well read, enjoy expanding their knowledge and passing it on to others. Forceful in presenting their ideas.

Excerpted from Introduction to Type by Isabel Briggs Myers published by CPP. Inc. 

Which character type do you think you are? Why don't you try to find out too?

My Pimples were Spreading

HAHAHA!! What unusual writing title right? This writing is inspired by my friend status in her facebook. She said "pimple is in my chin". HAHAHAHA. Okay, here the story goes...

I never use make up in entire life (before). You can count how many times I use make up in my life. I think I only use make up twice, on my photo session in high school memorial book and in theater performance at my college. So that's why I think I don't need to use any cosmetics or liquid to clean my face. So, until I am in my last term in college right now, I never use any stuff like that and still don't have many pimples. Maybe only one or two pimples when I was in my period. It does never be a problem, until now!!

I don't know why (sounds like Norah Jones' song, right?) but my pimples suddenly came out on my forehead and my cheek. My face now looks like a teenager whose have pimples trouble!!
At last, after consultation with my friend, I decided to use a cleansing liquid and just realized there are so many choices, types, cleansing stage, and brands. GOD!! Help me!! Because I'm so dizzy which one I have to choose, I choose body shop. I think use body shop will be okay. The promotion said it's made from nature and free animal testing. I tried it and guess what?? My pimples were growing.. yikess
Even my friend, thought maybe I was dirty and untidy since I am riding motorcycle, and that was growing my pimples. But I have used motorcycle for years and there is no pimples problem before. Usually it's enough only to wash my face with water. What's wrong then??

I stop to use that stupid body shop, too bad body shop don't have any capable clerk or such a good skin doctor in its store. You know, you shouldn't believe the clerk advice because they are not skin doctor. :( After did some consultation to my friends (again), they suggested me to visit a skin doctor. So, I went to skin doctor on February. The doctor said maybe the pimples came from my stressful activities, and she gave me the prescription.

Umm... maybe the doctor is right. Since my thesis becomes trouble and keep makes my mind stressful, my period also comes unregullary. She's probably right. Thanks doc! I already used the medicine since the middle of february and tried to reduce my stressful mind away. I hope those pimples can be reduced, perhaps I can become a pimple free girl forever hihihi.

Respect Me Please

Okay, today’s topic is about respect.  What’s about respect? So the story goes...
Somebody forced me to do something in his own (tirane). So sorry, nobody can force me to do anything I don’t like. Logic thinking already came into my head HAHAHA. Except you can convince me to do that thing you want me to, that’s good and logic, you can’t push me :)

HAHAHA Like what’s happened today, somebody pushed or forced me to do something I don’t like even criticize me why I can’t (appreciate) him. Who the hell are you?? Do you realize why my behavior is never (appreciate) you?? That’s because you never (appreciate) me too. Why do you expect me to do something you not do either?? Are you nuts? Your life is so naive if you are thinking that’s people have to respect you only because your age, in your seventies years old.  Ha? Respect is not come by itself. Respect comes from you first. You have to respect others and others will respect you.  Respect is not come only because of your age. Even though you are older from others but if you can’t behave, nobody will respect you! Please behave, respect others, and others will respect you.

You tried to convince me that I’m impolite but it doesn’t work pal. Sorry to say, nobody can make me feel guilty expect myself want me to. Maybe it sounds pretty selfish. But logically (of course), it’s yourself decision whether you are feeling do something wrong or not, then feeling guilty. So your strategy is not work for me. HAHA!

I think that everybody is in same position, in the same right to tell his/her feeling, to express him/her for a good way (of course). And NOTHING, i said again NOTHING can border us to said what’s right and to defend our right as a free man/woman. Forget the religion, culture, society thinking, and others opinion as a bad border. I don’t say that those are not important.  Those are important also but sometimes people can make those to be a bad border.

First, the religion interpretation by people is different each other or between one religion to another. Who know the truth about what God wants? No people, except the holy bible! And people sometimes force others to follow their own interpretation, the worst makes others religion seems bad. It’s so sad. But really, sometimes it’s happened in Indonesia. That’s what I mean that people can use religion as a bad border. Second, the culture can be a bad border. Indonesian culture (mostly) ask young person to (appreciate) the elders. These make elders want to be served by younger’s. But this could be bad, if the elders’ then force younger’s to do something.  Force without discussion, force only to satisfied the elders without hear what’s in younger’s mind. Third is about the society thinking and others opinion. SHIT!! This is the part where I hate the most. In Indonesia, your problem becomes others problem. That’s mean your problem is my problem too and it will spread in your community and friends. Not only be spread, it also be discussed, then people do judgment without you know, without even told you. HA!

So in my opinion, if you think those things become a bad border for you, to say what’s right and banned your right as a free man/woman then stop worrying!! Forget those bad borders!! Tell people what’s on your mind. And when you see something is not right, just talk. It needs courage to do. That’s okay. I’m still keep learning to say my opinion in more polite way also: D.

And for you who want others’ respect please behave and respect others first. Okay?!

Why Angkor Wat?

Why I really want to see Angkor Wat, in Cambodia? It was last December, I was watching a very tempting channel for travelling, National Geographic Channel. Please beware watched NGC, makes you keep on dreaming HAHAHAHA. The show was about the top 10 most amazing architecture in Asia. And the winner is Angkor Wat. Before watched the show, I was thinking that Angkor Wat is not very different from Borobudur Temple in Java. I was totally wrong!!!

Angkor Wat already reknown by the world and UNESCO as one of the World Heritage. Why?? It's because the architecture is very different, and you never imagine how an Angkor Wat is made!! Like me, I was surprised also. TOTALLY SURPRISED!! So from NGC, I knew that Angkor Wat was made (by ordered King Suryavarman II) in year 1200. King Suryavarman II wanted to make a sanctuary, the most beautiful, biggest, and highest ever in Cambodia. He ordered to make Angkor Wat to protect him after all sins he already made in his life. Through Angkor Wat, he wanted to died in peace and be in heaven. And also, it is believed, that once Angkor Wat wall was covering by gold WOW!! So, Angkor Wat was very sparkling in 1200 I think. Angkor Wat development was magnificent also. Do you know that actually Angkor Wat is floated on the water???

King Suryavarman II hired an architecht, believed he was the one who designed Borobudur Temple also. By King Suryavarman II order, Angkor Wat was made on 12 hectare by people hands, there was no technology like bulldozer at that time! AMAZING!! It was floating, very huge, made by very big stones, covering by gold, and made by human hands... OMG!!! Can you imagine the development, how graceful Angkor Wat in 1200??

After King Suryavarman died, the capital city moved from Angkor Wat area to Angkor Thom, and Thailand attacked Cambodia. Angkor Wat was forgotten, even for 400 years (but how can you forget Angkor Wat??) Angkor Wat was hidden by forest, totally its beautifulness was hidden. Until then, Herni Mooth Out, a france scientist hunted in Angkor Area and find Angkor Wat in about 1960. OMG!!! And now, we can appreciate Angkor Wat, how's magnificent people works in ancient time. And makes me more crazy to come to Angkor Wat soon... Hopefully :D

Cheap Airflight in Indonesia, inspiring!!!

Cheap airflight in Indonesia is already changed my mind. Before, I always think that going aboard is expensive, even, the fact, I (was) never go outside Java island, the worst, I (was) never go outside West Java HAHAHAHA. But now it's just a history. Finally I go outside Java island, even go abroad to Singapore :).

The story began last year, when me and my friends were in our last year in college. We wanted to spent long months vacation by travelling. In that time, I always aware and read advertising about cheap airflight rate in newspaper. In that time, the promotion offered flying to Johor Bahru, Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, Yogyakarta, and Bali in really cheap rate (round trip fare maybe from about Rp 500.000 / about US$ 55). Awesome right??

Then, we were thinking if the price range was not very different why don't we try to go abroad?? HAHAHA
And yeah, we made it. We booked the tickets for August flight to Johor Bahru and ordered it since May :D.
Really, the cheap airflight fare is changing our destination for vacation right now. After our last vacation to Singapore (through Johor Bahru), we are addicted to go travelling again HAHAHAHA. My next destination is going to Angkor Wat, Cambodia. But there is no direct cheap airflight to there. Maybe I have to go Bangkok (Thailand) or Ho Chi Minh City (Viet Nam) first. Thats why I still watching the airflight fare until now. HAHAHAHA. Hopefully after graduated I can go to Angkor Wat, Cambodia or maybe go all over Southeast Asia (Viet Nam-Cambodia-Laos-Burma-Thailand) and maybe Malaysia. HAHAHA what a big dream :D Still don't know if three of us can go make it together. But, I really want to!!!!

Totally in Love with Babyface

In love in love in love with Babyface!!!!!! Like I told you before that I have already download most of babyface songs. Before, I only heared it with guessed the lyric. Then, in my spare time, I looked for every lyric of the song in the internet by heared it also. And guess what??? OMG!!!! I'm so touched by the lyrics. OMG!! How I just realized it by now??

Okay, here the list, the deepest Babyface song lyrics for me:

• Nobody Knows It but Me, tells us about your feeling, when you miss somebody a lot without nobody knows
• Seven Seas, about looking for your mate, go travel seven seas for him/her
• Good to Be in Love, after fighting and have bad day with your mate, you still realize that you are still in love with him/her
• I Said I Love You, asked you to believing once again
• Soon as I Got Home, show a faithfulness to the mate
• Sunshine, to praise you, as the sunshine of life
• Fire, pretty 'naughty' song, makes you smile :) hihihi
• Given a Chance, rejoices me after the bad day
• How Come How Long, asked us to give attention to others
• I Care about You, shows your feeling to other, the music is great too
• If Only in Heaven's Eyes, about faithfulness and life strong in world
• A Girl like You, looking for the perfect girl 
• Love Makes Things Happen, you never know..

A lot of other songs that I think have good meaning and give you more confidence about believing and trust :D

Life Application Study Bible NIV (New International Version)

Recently, my brother just came from NY, USA and bought this Life Application Study Bible NIV (New International Version). I just wonder, why after he went far from here, Indonesia and then bought a bible???? What's so special about this bible??

So, I read the bible, and like the name in smaller font : personal size. Yep, through this bible, the readers can get a lot of information by read it. I already read the outline and it is interesting!!! Many sections available are there except the bible itself (Old Testament and New Testament). Like example this bible gives other additional part such as the timeline between time bible history and the history fact, I think that's AWESOME!! It can broader our thinking about time in bible is not different and far away from the history time. And inside the Old Testament and the New Testament there are also some description, in full description about every words and God's words. It gives more explanation about God's words and the application in our life.

Honestly, it feels forever for me go to church!! I'm sick go to church where people don't come for God. Church become a place where people can show off their richness and for young peole it's where you can search for a boy/girlfriend. Reading this bible makes me better. Since I don't go to church anymore I never read bible. But this bible is different!! It explain about many things... Even there is an index in the back pages, categorized by the theme or problem. So every question I got, I can check on it, and open the pages.

It's so GREAT!! Some question of mine will get answered!! I want to read the bible with all the explanation from the Genesis until Revelation. Hopefully I can do it, finished to read it, understand it, and implemented it, before I died. Very grateful to Jesus Christ who gives me a way to know Him more :)

Watch Kenny "Babyface" Edmons in Java Jazz Festival 2010

Yep, finally I watched Babyface special show in Java Jazz, March 7th 2010. The show was scheduled on 8.15 pm but I was already on the queque at 6.30 pm hahahaha! Thanks God that me and my friends were in the head of the queque. Yup, three of us were on the head of the queque. We wanted to have the front row!! Feeling pretty comfortable because we can directly ask the comitte a lot about the time when we can enter the venue.

Maybe, on about 8pm, all people that have already waited for 2 hours, was disturbed by our, vice president arrival (and his family members). Budiono and family made us, who already waited for 2 hours pretty mad. Because, Budiono brought a lot of family members who came to the venue without queque at all!! Huh.. such a nepotism :( And too bad, because there was a vice president of Indonesia in the venue, A2 Hall, there was a complicated checking door (the small one) and bag checking, for all us, all the people crowd before came in to the venue.

Can you imagine how messsed up the situation last night? Finally we came in, but I think the comitte was not prepared enough, because there were people from last show (Griffith Frank general show) in the A2 Hall. Huhh.... The worst thing was the lack communication between the comitee and the security. The comitte told us, to got inside, so I ran (yep, i RAN) into the venue, looked for the first row. But one of the security tried to catch me, maybe he was panicked why I was running, and he asked me to show my ticket (again). I told him "I have already got the ticket checking, and a lot of people still come in to the venue. So, where's the problem?" And then bravely, I just ran pass him. And yeah!!! I got the second row on the show.. Yipee

We waited for some minutes, waited for the sound system check, then singing our national anthem, Indonesia Raya, and yeahhhhh!!! There were Babyface and his band!!!! Wooooooooooo!!!!!

He came out and sung, and asked us, all the audience to sing a long!!! Wow!! What a performance!! And the fascinating thing was, Babyface is so attractive, he told us a lot of stories, about his lovers from kindergarten (hahahahaha!), his plan to undercover by phone as his teacher to ask a interview with the Jackson Five, his friendship with Michael Jackson ('I love you' with MJ tone,), and his deepest feeling lost friend like MJ. So he made a beautiful arrangement singing last night, by his stories, some of his songs last night were : Everytime I Close My Eyes, Fire, I'll Make Love to You, End of The Road, Wonderful Tonight, Change the World, Gone To Soon, How Come How Long, When Can I See You Again (it's a very very flirtatious song, sung by Babyface ... :D)

We love you Babyface! What a great performance... I'll wait for you greatest hits compilation CD hihihihi
Thanks for Babyface and the great band (what a huge a powerful drummer you are, man).. Thanks also for all the comitte, I hope you can do better in the future, and for our president and vice president, do read : please don't come to our show, you guys only watch the show for 10-20 minutes, but you make all the crowd people worse. Please do your job as government and watch Java Jazz maybe in other time, after you finished your works as president and vice president. Okay?