Heavy January

January just passed by but it felt so heavy for me..

Finally, I finished my final paper with struggle and helps from many people. Thank you so much for God's helps. That burden was released but here came another sadness..

My desk mate in high school died on 6th January 2011. 2 days after my final paper presentation and when I was planned to visit her on 7th January 2011. I came on that Friday for nothing. She was not there anymore, already gone, without I was able to cheer her up, support her to against her disease. Her sudden death totally made me shocked, depressed, and made me thought over about life and my pathway!

My another loss is, mandala air bankruptcy that canceled my trip to Hong Kong also situation in my house became worse. I thought this February will be different. I was wrong. It even worse. Everybody seems easily comes to interrupt my life with suggestion and all of that kind of petuah-petuah.

It becomes burden to me!!!

My life was already felt so unsettled and miserable enough without all of that stuff. I tried not to face that old time problem and pretended just there was nothing happened. But thanks to everybody, by all your interruption, you give me brand new and more burden.

I can't breath, I want to run away and escape. I don't want to go back to that God damned house ever. I want to live by myself. I feel trapped in this situation.

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